Human Nature
by TheNewIdea
Summary: In all honesty, the money was secondary to all them, the reasons they had were much deeper, more personal than money. For some it was to gain prominence, recognition for their actions. For others it was simply a matter of finding something to do. Technically a crossover, but I decided to post it here since the canon is more "prominent" despite equal representation.
1. Episode Twenty-Two: Capture the Flag

Episode Twenty-Two: Capture the Flag

Wile E. Coyote sat crouched in the high grass of the savannah, his target was the red flag, hung high in a tree that only a giraffe could reach. Behind him, his partner, Perry the Platypus, was silently cheering him on. Wile E. raised his spear and stood up.

"Just take it nice and slow" Perry whispered towards him, "You're doing great, fine field work. Just remember what we talked about."

Wile E. nodded and answered him, "Precision, speed and endurance. Thanks buddy."

Perry gave him thumbs up and reverted on all fours to remain hidden.

Wile E. threw the spear, connected to it was a rope. The spear hit its target, the middle of the tree. Wile E. then quickly tied the other end of the rope to a stable rock and began climbing the rope, hand over hand, until he got to the tree itself. Unsheathing his claws on both his hands and feet, Wile E. painfully dug them into the tree.

_ "God I hope this flag is worth it!"_ Wile E. said to himself, _"This is killing my claws; I'll have to see a manicurist after this that's for damn sure."_

Perry looked behind him and saw one of the other teams, Sylvester and Lawrence Fletcher. Perry looked up towards Wile E.

"Hurry up man" he cried, "They're almost here!"

Wile E., upon hearing this, moved towards the nearest branch he could reach and began jumping from branch to branch, dodging and weaving obstacles as if they were nothing. Sylvester and Lawrence meanwhile threw their spear, hitting theirs higher and closer to the flag. Sylvester then used the same technique as Wile E. and made his way to the tree. Sylvester laughed as he passed the coyote, who at this point was breathing heavily and struggling to climb.

"Cats were practically made to climb trees" Sylvester shouted as he reached the canopy, just ten feet from the flag.

Wile E. emerged from the other side, several sticks were in his fur and his claws were full of dirt.

"Come on Sly" Wile E. replied as he shook himself off, "Let's be civilized about this hmm? Just because we're in Africa doesn't mean we have to act like savages."

Sylvester nodded in agreement and gave a small laugh. "You're right Wile E." Sylvester replied, "This whole thing is stupid. In fact, maybe we call off the whole thing. Let's just lose."

Wile E. rolled his eyes, for he caught Sylvester's sarcasm and realized that he didn't mean a single word of it.

"You know we can't do that Sly" Wile E. continued, "We have to finish this. Remember what we're fighting for?"

Sylvester nodded, "Yeah I do" he exclaimed, "If one of us wins, we all win. It's that simple."

Sylvester moved towards the flag as casually as he could, Wile E. saw this and slowly put his best foot forward.

Lawrence looked to his right and saw Perry, who was standing at this point.

"How's your challenge going?" Lawrence asked curiously

Perry shrugged, "Pretty good" he answered, "Wile E.'s great. I just wish that everyone else could see that too. Maybe then things would be better for him."

Lawrence said nothing and simply smiled, "We all have our reasons for doing this Perry. Maybe his is complicated, like yours was. Maybe he's trying to find himself."

Perry shook his head in disbelief, for nothing was ever that simple.

"Assumptions are always false" Perry exclaimed, "Don't assume things Lawrence, you're better than that. You want to know about his past, ask the man yourself. Don't sit behind his back and think aloud to yourself, he's liable to hear what you have to say. Then...then you'll be just like me, and that's not a good thing to be."

Lawrence and Perry could hear ruffling in the distance, the other teams. Behind, a good mile away, were two other trees, both of them with flags at the highest point.

"Damn it" they said in unison as they saw the others retrieve their flags and head down to the ground. "Hurry it up! We're falling behind!" They continued desperately.

Wile E. looked at the other tree tops and noticed that they were empty. Wasting no time, Wile E. ran towards the flag just as Sylvester grabbed it, bringing them both over the edge of the canopy and falling towards the ground. Wile E. closed his eyes, remembering not to look down. Grabbing the flag from Sylvester and pushing him off, Wile E. slowly walked to the surface as Sylvester fell, the landing more than hard.

Perry and Wile E. ran as fast as they could. Lawrence, who was carrying Sylvester on his back, was right behind them. Perry turned towards Wile E. as he put on his jetpack.

"We're not goanna make it!" the platypus shouted, "Desperate times-"

"Call for desperate measures" Wile E. finished, "Hit it!"

Perry nodded and pushed the red ignition button, Wile E., at the same time pulled out his remote calling in an Acme Rocket, getting on while in motion. Lawrence finally caught up to them and placed Sylvester on Wile E.'s rocket. Lawrence grabbed Perry's hand as Perry revved up his jetpack, heading towards base camp.

Base camp was a large ring of tents around a campfire. Seated in front of the campfire was John Bishop, reality television host. As he waited for the groups to return he thought about how he managed to get them all together in the first place.

It was a full scale operation, taking years of preparation. The idea was simple. A survival competition that not only tests physical boundaries, but social ones. There were many reasons why John thought this was a good idea, reasons too long and boring to list. There were no camera crews, no studio effects and no script. The only cameras they had in the entire camp were hand held and only certain people were allowed to have them. Wile E. was one of those people with specific permission to have a body camera, mostly due to the fact that he performed his own stunts.

Convincing them to do it was easier than it seemed. All of the Looney Tunes involved did it to get recognition and a much needed salary increase. Perry was involved because it allowed him to reveal his identity. Phineas, Lawrence, Buford, Ferb and Isabella, who were also along for the ride, did it to have something to do. There wasn't really much to it.

Wile E., Perry, Sylvester and Lawrence arrived ten minutes before the others. John approached them and slapped them each on the back.

"Congratulations boys" he said, "You've won the first challenge. So who caught the flag?"

All of them looked at each other and then back at John.

"What do you mean?" Wile E. asked, curiously.

"There can only be one winning team" John explained, "Whoever brings back the flag first wins, that's just how it works."

Sylvester stepped forward and humbly hung his head, he then gave a part lie and part truth.

"Wile E. and Perry won sir. They retrieved the flag."

Lawrence nodded in agreement, "Yes, showed real sportsmanship too" he added on.

John frowned at this and turned towards Wile E. and Perry.

"This competition isn't about sportsmanship" the host said sternly, "It's about survival of the fittest. If they can't do what is asked of them, then they deserve to die out in the wilderness to decrease the worldwide population!"

Wile E., Perry and Lawrence only stared at John in complete shock; Sylvester slapped John in the face and spat at his feet.

"If that's how you're going to be" Sylvester replied, "Then I want out of this hellhole."

John laughed, it was slow and the kind of laugh that only evil, sadistic psychopaths are able to produce.

"Go ahead" John replied, "You're in the middle of nowhere. This base camp is the last source of food, water and shelter that you'll find for miles until you reach the Nile and even that's a good ten day journey. You'll die before you even see it, but even if you do reach the Nile, you'll have the crocodiles, hippos, lions and snakes to worry about. Not to mention disease. So go ahead Sly, take your chances out in the wild. Go ahead."

John looked around and pulled Perry to the side; Perry rolled his eyes and complied.

"Another interview?" Perry asked nervously, for he was extremely uncomfortable around John, something about his demeanor didn't set right with the platypus. John only nodded, saying nothing.

John led Perry to a small chair, in front of this chair was a small table, on which was a glass of water. On the other side of this table was a large chair for John. John pulled out a camera and turned it on.

"I thought that this wasn't going to be broadcast?" Perry said out of confusion, for there were no cameras around anywhere else.

John huffed and rolled his eyes in annoyance, "That's what you think Perry?" he said laughing a bit as he did so, "Well okay, if that's what you think. This is being broadcast all over the world."

Perry's eyes grew wide at this, but John only continued to be indifferent.

"It's a hidden camera reality TV show Perry. Now shut up and let me ask the questions."

Perry sat down deep in his chair, trying to hide from the world when John began.

"Describe your relationship with Wile E. Coyote."

Perry shifted his weight in his chair, trying to get comfortable. He took off his fedora and began fiddling with it in his hands.

"I don't like cameras John" Perry replied "Can we turn it off?"

John shook his head and only moved the camera closer. John had a sadistic smile on his face, for the platypus was his favorite candidate for camera torture.

"No" John screamed, "Now stop stalling and answer!"

Perry jumped at this, quivering in fear at the sight of the camera, having forgotten completely who he was. Perry began crying, begging to be taken home. John's smile only increased. Perry began shaking, John, in response, slapped the platypus in the face, causing Perry to answer the question.

"Wile E.?" he replied, struggling a bit as he tried not to stammer, "I'd say we're pretty good...I-I-In a few short days we've come to be like brothers."

John nodded, satisfied for the time being with Perry's answer and his manipulation of Perry's irrational fear of cameras. John continued with the interview.

"How is your family taking your secret identity?" John said with surprising eagerness, "I mean you did basically lie to them for like what...ten years?"

At this Perry remained silent, his fearful stare kept solely on the camera in front of him. John only had to raise his hand for the platypus to cave in and answer.

"Good!" Perry exclaimed jumping at bit at the same time, "Better than I had hoped, we couldn't be happier."

Perry was sweating as he spoke. John only frowned, for this was not the answer that he was hoping for.

John stopped the camera, causing Perry to breathe easier. John stood up and lifted Perry out of his chair by the neck before he started to shake him violently.

"This is reality!" John screamed, "The people don't want truth. They want drama! They want family crises and they want emotion."

Perry nodded rapidly, understanding John but still confused.

"But its true sir" Perry began, "My family's fine with it. I explained everything. Doofenshrimtz-"

John shook him again, cutting Perry off and causing him to drop his fedora, which landed in the dirt, completely forgotten.

"Please!" Perry begged, "Put me down."

Perry began crying, causing John to slap him senseless. The platypus, whimpering and starting to hyperventilate due to the constant crying, wet himself.

"I just want to go home" Perry pleaded, "Please. Let me go home."

John laughed menacingly, "Funny how you say "me" instead of "we" ain't it? Did you lose concern for Lawrence and the boys before or after I hit you?"

Perry said nothing, hanging his head in shame as he thought about the realization. He began to question his motives for being here. Confused and morally conflicted Perry nodded as John sat him back in the chair.

"Say it right this time" John threatened as he sat down in his place, "Or I swear to God the next challenge you face will be swimming in the Nile with the crocodiles!"

John turned the camera back on as he composed himself, he was camera ready in five seconds.

"I'm sorry you're going to have to speak up." John said, picking up where he left off, "How is your family dealing with your secret identity?"

Perry took a deep breath and gave his answer.

"Phineas and Ferb took it as well as could be expected" Perry lied, slightly shaking due to John's presence and hating himself for allowing his fears to get the better of him, diminishing his willpower. "They only stared at me with blank faces; it was like looking at a brick wall."

John nodded and made useless notes in a notepad to make it more convincing, as if he were actually conducting an interview.

"And what about Lawrence, the old man, what does he think about this?" John pressed, secretly loving the fact that Perry continued to shake, the more of a show he put on, the better the ratings would ultimately be.

" Lawrence?" Perry replied, "I don't know what he thinks. It doesn't matter though; none of them will talk to me, it's like I don't even exist."

John moved the camera closer to Perry's face, capturing Perry's tears as he relived his inner most nightmares and deepest, darkest fears. Perry continued.

"To answer your follow up question which I'm sure you'll have, I'm here for one thing. To prove to them that I am just as much a part of their family, that I can be something other than the agent or the platypus that doesn't do anything."

This was the only truth that Perry spoke after the initial incident with John. His reasons for being here, in the plains of Congo Africa, are simple in nature. Behind them is a complicated web of lies, deception and murder. It was a past best left forgotten.

John nodded in agreement and stopped the camera. Perry stood up and walked back towards the group, saying nothing and showing no emotion. Wile E. stared at Perry, a concerned look on his face.

"What happened?" Wile E. asked, "What did he do?"

Perry said nothing, maintaining a stoic face. Wile E. turned towards John, taking up Perry's defense.

"What did you do to him?" Wile E. demanded, "You know he doesn't like cameras!"

John nodded in understanding, "That's why I brought you here. To test your skills, break your fears and become acceptable to society."

Wile E. huffed, wanting to claw John's eyes out but maintaining composure.

"Acceptable to society" Wile E. replied, "We're perfectly fine individuals' thank you very much! We've contributed more to society than you have in your entire life! What have you done to better humanity? We've made people laugh; we've spread joy throughout the world. We've donated to countless charities and continued our support for them through physical and meaningful action. All you've managed to do Mr. Bishop is sit behind your desk and chair in Hollywood and make rules that constrain, boggle and otherwise befuddle the mind! You haven't a shred of any kind of human emotion within you."

Wile E. spat and paced, he wanted to say more but couldn't allow himself to speak. John only smiled, shook his head and motioned for Wile E. to follow him. The coyote remained motionless, refusing to let John have his way. John, in response to this, pulled out a hunting rifle, loaded and ready to fire and aimed it at Wile E's chest.

"Move Mr. Coyote" John said with a laugh, "Or else there's going to be a tragic lion attack, if you catch my meaning."

Wile E. nodded and slowly made his way to the interviewing area, John, rifle in hand, following close behind. Lawrence meanwhile, comforted Perry to the best of his abilities while Sylvester went to over to the tents to see about getting some food. The other teams arrived moments later, flags in hand and physically and mentally exhausted.


	2. Episode Twenty-Two: The Same Old Hat

Episode Twenty-Two: The Same Old Hat

Phineas stuck his flag in the ground and headed for the ring of tents. His partner, Foghorn Leghorn, looked about his surroundings and upon seeing that everything was normal, continued towards the campfire when he saw Perry taking solace in Lawrence.

"You know I'm not one to argue" Foghorn exclaimed, "But it seems to me like you boys could use a little pick-me-up."

Lawrence smiled and gently nudged the platypus, catching his attention and causing him to look up at the rooster, who was wearing a set of Groucho Marx glasses that he borrowed from Bugs Bunny on Halloween the year before. The glasses didn't exactly work, for Foghorn's beak interrupted the gag in and of itself and so it was more of the gesture that caused Perry and Lawrence to laugh than the overall effectiveness of the joke.

"Seriously Foghorn do you have anything?" Perry asked hopefully, "Anything that can help us survive this? Get a leg up perhaps?"

Foghorn got down on one knee, his elbow resting comfortably on it as if he were about to give the secret to life. Perry and Lawrence leaned intently, curiosity getting the better of them, their eyes cartoonish as their pupils dilated in agonizing anticipation.

"If you ever meet a crocodile who hesitates" Foghorn whispered, "Be sure to knock out its teeth."

Lawrence blinked, curing him of his bug-eyedness. He wasn't sure if Foghorn was joking or if he was being figurative and if he was, he wasn't sure if it was a random piece of advice or a clue to an upcoming challenge. Perry shook his head in disbelief, for he was hoping that Foghorn would have something to say that was overtly meaningful, devoid of cryptic messages and metaphors.

"Thanks" Perry said uncomfortably, disappointment clearly showing in his voice, "We'll be sure to keep that in mind."

Foghorn nodded and patted the platypus' shoulder as gently as he could, he then gave the warmest smile he could produce, his eyes twinkled a bit as if he were about to cry.

"We've got to stick together my waffle-tailed friend" Foghorn declared, "If any of us hope to make it out of here we got to stop playing the game his way and start playing it ours. We're here for a reason boy, us Merrie Melodies; we want to be loved again. What about you? What are your reasons?"

Perry shrugged, he didn't know Foghorn well enough to give him a straight answer and was about to give a stock response when Foghorn turned to Lawrence and then back to the platypus with an answer.

"It's for them isn't it?" Foghorn guessed, "I wish I was here for nobler goal. But unfortunately I'm just part of the corporate machine. I'm in for myself boy, to prove something even though I've nothing left to prove. Now is that the saddest you've ever heard in your life?"

Lawrence nodded, "You know what you're problem is Mr. Leghorn?"

Foghorn slowly rose to his feet causing Perry and Lawrence to do the same. Before Lawrence could continue Foghorn made his way towards the camp, saying nothing as if Lawrence hadn't said a word to begin with.

"What is it with these guys and walking away?" Lawrence asked curiously, looking down at Perry.

"Maybe it's a California thing?" Perry replied, equally confused

Lawrence shrugged indifferently, no longer caring about the issue as he walked towards the camp causing Perry to do the same just as Wile E. stormed out and Buford walked into Bishop's interview. Perry could feel the cameras watching him and immediately became queasy, to combat this, the platypus pulled out a small bottle of Xanax that Doofenshrimtz, who had retired from the evil scientist business in favor of medical practice, had given him.

"Come on you idiot" Perry said to himself, "You skydived out of plane surely you can handle a few cameras!"

Phineas meanwhile, was unpacking his pack full of the Ten Essentials-rope, first aid kit, trail food, an extra set of clothes, pocketknife, fire-starter, flashlight, compass, map and water bottle. He also had three rolls of duct tape, the unofficial Eleventh Essential that every good Boy Scout carried despite the Ten. The funny thing was that Phineas was not part of the Boy Scout organization and he did not plan on joining, the only reason that he knew about it all was because of Baljeet, who had taken an interest, and Isabella, whose experience with Fireside Girls, ultimately winning him over. As he was going over his checklist, Isabella, hair frizzy and pink skirt covered in mud, casually walked over to Phineas as if they were in their backyard in Danville.

"Whatcha doing?" Isabella asked in her sing-song way, "Anything fun?"

Phineas shook his head, "Just going over materials Isabella. Gotta be prepared for anything out here, you never know what might happen."

Isabella nodded, "Anything huh? Like, anything or _anything_? Which are you talking about?"

Phineas huffed annoyingly for he knew exactly on what Isabella was doing and he wasn't going to be a part of it.

"There's only one type of anything" Phineas explained, "Out here you can't get distracted. You have to do whatever you can to survive. I'm sorry but with everything's that going on there's just no time."

Isabella blinked a few times to make sure that she was hearing things correctly, for she hadn't openly suggested anything in terms of a relationship. Phineas, seeing this, only laughed, unintentionally making it as hurtful as possible.

"You must really think I'm stupid" Phineas continued, "I've built things that rival the great wonder of the world. I think I can tell when someone likes me or not."

Isabella shuffled her feet nervously, Phineas' words dealing their blow in terms of coldness and effectively, at least in Phineas' mind, shooting down the airplane that was Isabella's heart.

"I don't think you're stupid" Isabella defended, "Who would with all the things you can do? I just wanted you to notice me a bit."

Phineas huffed indifferently, "How can I not?" he replied, "With that nasally voice of yours I can pick you out in a crowd. You have the laugh of a dying hyena on laughing gas and you're practically tethered to my house every weekend, summer and holiday."

This was enough for Isabella to get the hint that Phineas wasn't to be bothered and so walked across the way to her tent, in which her tent partner Lola Bunny, was singing to herself about how prefect her life was.

"Will you knock it off?" Isabella exclaimed, her voice almost whining in nature, "I'm not in the mood for singing."

Lola stopped what she was doing and stepped into the role of confident that she had set for herself when it came to Isabella, her being the only other girl in the group.

"Come on now" Lola said encouragingly, "You can't let him get you down. What's the point of love if you give up right away?"

"That's it" Isabella declared, somewhat sarcastic and carrying indifference, "There's no hope for me. I'll just become a lesbian and swear off men forever! Because apparently that's the only way anyone would notice me or give a damn about my feelings and what I have to say."

Lola laughed playfully, for it was obvious that Isabella was over-dramatizing her situation. In truth, the lesbian route had crossed Isabella's mind on more than one occasion, if anything in more attempts to get Phineas' attention.

"He can't ignore you forever" Lola pointed out, "Someday he'll see that he's lucky to have someone like you. And if you're married by that time, he'll regret not getting you when he had the chance."

Isabella rolled her eyes, "I am not something to be won" she retorted, "In fact it's because of me that Phineas is here! I'm the one who convinced him that Africa was good idea and I'm the one who managed to get his stupid backpack with his stupid stuff. It's me, it's always been me!"

Ferb, who was sitting at the campfire nearby, overheard Isabella's ranting and raving about her two minute decent into the She-Woman Man Haters Club. As he casually sharpening a stick for no reason, his partner, Porky Pig, walked up with a half eaten can of beans and a bowl of rice. Porky was wearing a mosquito net around his head that connected to an Indiana Jones type hat that he wore to keep off the sun as much as possible. Gradually, some tusks could be seen formed around Porky's mouth, a tell-tell sign that he had been here for too long.

"Want some good old fashioned protein?" Porky asked as he gestured the can Ferb's way.

"Not particularly Porky" Ferb answered as he closed his knife, "In fact I don't want much of anything but peace and quiet."

Porky nodded in agreement, "That's something we could all use right about now. Too much drama these days, everyone trying to be something they're not. People want a reality show, there's nothing real about it."

Ferb laughed halfheartedly, it seemed that everyone was in agreement that this was not what they expected it to be. Each of them came out here with the romanticized idea that they were going to change something about themselves by way of real experiences instead of scripted action and words. They were told that it was all truth, but even that was a lie, for John Bishop had martial law in most matters.

"Tomorrow's going to hell Porky" Ferb said suddenly through the subtle cracking of the coals of the fire, "It ends with Elimination. Someone has got to go."

Porky shook his head at this prospect, for it was obvious who should leave, but it wasn't going to be the outcome.

Out of all of the teams Buford and Daffy Duck were the only ones who absolutely refused to get along with each other. They barely spoke outside of the challenges and were so lost in themselves that it was wonder that they knew each other's names. In fact, in almost all group activities both of them failed to show in favor of solitude. Because of their uncooperative nature, they were the logical choice for elimination, the only reason they remained was because of ratings.

It came down to Perry and Wile E., Foghorn and Phineas, and Sylvester and Lawrence. The main reason was because they were the teams that were considered the radicals, the ones who openly opposed John Bishop and voiced their opinions every chance that was given.

"Let's hope that they make the right choice" Porky began, "It'd be a shame if anyone left on account of their beliefs."

Ferb nodded in agreement, "Yes it would, but that's not exactly for us to decide now is it?"

Porky said nothing and simply stared at the fire, hoping against hope that someone would have something good to say. Meanwhile, Foghorn, Perry, Lawrence, Wile E. and Sylvester all sat down around the fire as the droning of mosquitoes began to pick up with the coming of the night. Porky meanwhile, passed the can of beans around the circle that had formed, after which the rice bowl was sent. After they had their fill, they began the awkward process of small talk, too exhausted to go beyond high levels of conversation.

"So besides coming to terms that this is living hell is there anything else that anyone has learned today?" Sylvester asked, "I mean it can't be all negative. There has to be one positive thing that we walk away with here!"

Foghorn laughed, using his full body to expression his emotions.

"The only positive I can see is our agreement that John Bishop is a con artist, a thief and lower than dirt" Foghorn replied.

Sylvester nodded, "Yes" he continued, "But is there anything else?"

Lawrence shrugged and gave the best answer he could.

"I don't know about you chaps but I speak for myself when I say that I've earned some friends."

All of them sat in silent agreement, to deny that bonds had been made would be denying their own humanity, which for some was the only thing they had left.

"I mean think about it" Lawrence continued, "We've been through hell together. Even if we don't come out of this as the best of friends, we've definitely earned respect from each other."

Ferb laughed and shook his head, "Not much can be said for Daffy and Buford though."

Lawrence sighed at this, for he was well aware of the situation, for the past few days he had been thinking of ways to get them to socialize, both with each other and the group. So far he remained unsuccessful.

"Some people just deal with things differently" Lawrence replied, "They'll come around soon enough."

Lola, Isabella and Phineas slowly joined the circle, partaking in the rice and beans, the former not even bothering to look at each and simply confided themselves to staring at the calmness of nature's TV. Just as things were winding down for the day, Bishop made his way over to brief everyone on the next challenge.

Bishop was understandably met with disdain; glaring looks from Foghorn and Wile E. were slowly burning into his eyes. Bishop didn't necessarily care, but it simply the idea that they had that capability. Buford and Daffy, as in on cue, emerged from the back end of the camp to listen in, this was the extent of their social interaction.

"Alright everyone listen up" Bishop began, "Tomorrow's a big one. It's an elimination round, you all know what that means. Whoever performs poorly gets on the next helicopter out where they can resume to live shitty lives."

Lawrence stood up defensively, causing Bishop to turn towards him in his challenging but calm demeanor.

"Is there something you want to say Lawrence?" Bishop asked, "If so, please share it with the group. I'm sure whatever you have to say they'll refute."

Lawrence swallowed hard as he locked eyes with Bishop, sweating profusely and with extreme nervousness Lawrence voiced his opinion.

"Mr. Bishop, first off, is this recorded?"

Bishop nodded, "Of course it is. It's reality TV, everything's recorded."

Lawrence nodded, "So you lied to us then? As I recall you specifically said that there weren't going to be any cameras. How then, do you expect to have a TV show without them?"

Bishop laughed sarcastically, "You misinterpreted my words. It's a hidden camera show, you don't see them. So technically speaking, they aren't any _visible_ cameras."

Foghorn joined in at this point, for he had just as much to say as anyone else.

"Even so" Foghorn began, "That doesn't the fact that you twisted our arms. And that's not accounting for our tarnishing of our personal integrity."

Bishop laughed again, causing Wile E. to step up and come to Foghorn's defense.

"You've made each one of us lie about ourselves Bishop" Wile E. added, reiterating his earlier statement, "We're tired of it. Either this stops now or you have millions of people watching us sit around on our asses all day."

Bishop shook his head pitifully as he pulled out the contracts that he forced them all to sign, threateningly waving them in their faces almost daring them to take him on.

"You think can stop me?" Bishop declared, "I own you Mr. Coyote. I own all of you until our time is up. You will do what I say or risk your reputations, I have dirt on every single person here and I will use it. You will never find work again for as long as you live."

Bishop then turned to Lawrence

"And as for you and your family Lawrence" Bishop continued, "You cross me and you and all your little friends from Danville are going to be living under new names in Latvia."

Perry then laughed, mimicking Bishop's from earlier and causing Bishop to look down at his feet, meeting the platypus' eyes.

"What's so funny?" Bishop asked, "You hear a joke or something?"

Perry shook his head, "No" he answered, "Just the fact that you just incriminated yourself...This entire conversation was broadcast, you say it yourself and you had the balls to threaten extortion in front of a million people!"

Bishop laughed again and casually pulled out a small black remote from his inside pocket, for he kept his left hand inside his jacket at all times.

"The first rule about reality TV" Bishop declared, "Never ask if something is being broadcast. Thanks to your friend's unintentional warning I turned off the cameras before I could incriminate myself."

Bishop pressed the small red button and casually reorganized himself to fit the situation.

"You guys have a nice night" Bishop continued, "Meet me in front of the camp at dawn. 0600. And be prepared to get wet."

With that Bishop walked away, leaving the prefect scene for total confusion.


End file.
